But what this has led me to discover is that I have anxiety issues.
The first few times I stressed out I figured I was just a little tired as well as stressed... but more recently I am 'freaking out' about things that are nothing at all. Then I get frustrated with myself and everything starts falling down around me... then, keeping my composure is a problem. Once I feel tears in my eyes, I can only think to run. I can only think to run to a secluded place, to be alone. I grab my stuff and go home. Or I grab my keys and go for a drive.
Sure thats not a big deal, but when I have commitments (work? meetings? class?) I can't just gon running off because I can no longer handle all the things spinning in my head.
Its a horrible feeling... I feel on edge nearly all the time. It doesn't take much of anything to send me over. Its not that I immidiately get angry, I just get overwhelmed, like I can't handle everything. Once I've gone over that edge, I either need to be pulled back, quickly, or go into a tail spin and need to get out, to run.
...
I took some online Anxiety tests (a doctor would be a better place, but for starters we look online). They did show some anxiety. Not extreme, but above average. I looked around for some things to do about it...
I'll let you know how that goes... in the mean time, I listen to Ingrid Michealson and her song 'Keep Breathing'.
